where am i from again
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Randomize
