Pappa wants mamma naked
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
