What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
