I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
