Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
