kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
