I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
So much rum. So many feels.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
did you just send me my own nude
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
