im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Randomize
