dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
