So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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