none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
