Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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