I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
