he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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