i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
