they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
