You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
