That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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