Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
