I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
