I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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