she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
