i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
