It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
