He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Randomize