So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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