My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize