how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
