I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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