So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
