Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
