come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
