wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Randomize
