I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
