i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Randomize