Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
