Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
