nut hugger
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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