Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
