what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Ketchup is God's man juice
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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