It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
