Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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