I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
