Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Randomize
