i permit you to call me
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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