For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
