I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
only you would photoshop your dick
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Randomize
