Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
