ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
