Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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