Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize