yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
