talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize