I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
