I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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