The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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