Nicole vs. Life
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
