You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
is this the sara with the beer cane?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
