I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I'm just crazy horny about you
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
