i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
