i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
