So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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