My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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